My name is Patricia, but I go by Pat, or at least that’s what I’ve taken to calling myself. It’s funny, me writing a preface in my own little 280-page journal. It’s a bit too long, really. Dr.Ew tells me that I’ve been carrying this child for over two weeks. I had no idea until the nausea began, along with the vomiting and cravings. Dr. Ew says it’s odd that some of the cravings have started this early, but he also says that each body is different. This makes me feel better. He also says that I should take yoga, that it will help with my birthing process. That’s also why I’m writing this journal. To explore my term of birthing, and to find myself on the mat.

Day 1:

After stopping into the local gas station, getting my Formula 40 energy drink, I went to my first yoga class. In my planner, I have written:

Prenatal at 4pm, Asana Focus studio

It was intimidating. I’ve never done yoga before, and everyone seemed to know it before I even walked into the dimly lit room.

The desk person smiled awkwardly at me and made me fill out a terribly complicated form about not suing. She pointed me to the mats and the room, then quickly left. Everyone else seemed to stare.

I felt so feeble next to these women; they all seemed so capable. Every pose they mastered with ease, and every word the teacher used was understood. I just gaped and tried to follow. The teacher was nice. Her name is Janis. She would come over and help me. She smiled and was so gentle.

I sweated so much, but I’m glad I did it.

*********

Find the rest of this bizarre and brilliant tale in Sheriff Nottingham 12: Festivus, available Dec. 23rd on Amazon!

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